Communication is a fundamental skill, and for young children, learning to effectively request desired items and activities is a crucial step in their development. Requesting skills empowers them to express their needs and wants, reduces frustration, and fosters independence. This article provides parents with practical strategies and step-by-step guides to help their children develop these essential requesting skills.

Understanding Your Child’s Communication Level

Before diving into specific strategies, it’s essential to understand your child’s current communication level. Are they using single words, short phrases, or more complex sentences? Do they primarily communicate through gestures or a combination of words and gestures? Understanding their starting point will help you tailor your approach.

Strategies for Teaching Requesting Skills

Here are several effective strategies you can use, along with step-by-step guides and examples:

Modeling and Prompting:

This strategy involves demonstrating the desired request and then prompting your child to imitate.

Step 1: Identify the Desire: Notice what your child is interested in. Is it a toy, a snack, or a specific activity?
Step 2: Model the Request: Clearly and slowly say the desired request. For example, if they want a cookie, say, “Cookie, please.” It helps to hold the item up near your face, so that your child’s attention is drawn you face when you are modeling language.
Step 3: Prompt Imitation: Encourage your child to repeat the request. You can say, “Your turn! Say ‘Cookie, please.'”
Step 4: Provide the Item/Activity: Immediately give them the cookie when they attempt the request, even if their pronunciation isn’t perfect. Positive reinforcement is key!
Example: Your child points to a ball. You say, “Ball, please.” Then, “Say ‘Ball, please.'” When they try, even if it’s just “Ball,” give them the ball and say, “Great job asking for the ball!”

Creating Opportunities:

This involves setting up situations where your child will be motivated to request something.

Step 1: Strategic Placement: Place a desired item slightly out of reach but still visible. For example, put their favorite toy on a high shelf.
Step 2: Wait and Observe: Give your child a chance to initiate the request. Don’t immediately give them the item.
Step 3: Respond to Attempts: If they point, gesture, or make any attempt to communicate, respond by prompting them to use words. “I see you want the toy. Can you say, ‘Toy’?”
Step 4: Provide the Item/Activity: Once they make a verbal attempt, even if it’s not perfect, give them the toy.
Example: Your child is thirsty. You place their sippy cup on the counter, just out of reach. They point and whine. You say, “Oh, you want your drink! Can you say, ‘Drink’?”

Using Sign Language:

Sign language can be a valuable tool, especially for children who are not yet using many words.

ASL Video Dictionary
- Step 1: Choose a Sign: Select a simple sign related to a frequently desired item or activity (e.g., “eat,” “drink,” “ball”).
- Step 2: Model the Sign and Word: Show your child the sign while simultaneously saying the corresponding word. For example, when giving them a cracker, sign “cracker” while saying, “cracker.”
- Step 3: Encourage Imitation: Encourage your child to imitate the sign.
- Step 4: Respond to the Sign: When your child uses the sign, immediately provide the desired item or activity.
- Example: You are giving your child crackers. You sign “cracker” and say, “cracker.” They make a similar hand motion. You say, “More crackers! Here you go!”

Expanding on Requests:

Once your child is consistently making single-word requests, encourage them to use phrases and sentences.

Step 1: Respond and Expand: When your child makes a single-word request (e.g., “Juice”), respond by expanding on their request. “Juice? You want juice. Can you say, ‘I want juice’?”
Step 2: Encourage Imitation: Encourage your child to repeat the expanded phrase.
Step 3: Provide the Item/Activity: Give them the juice when they attempt the phrase.
Example: Your child says, “Car.” You say, “Car? You want the car. Can you say, ‘I want the car’?”

Using Pictures:

Pictures can be a fantastic way to help young children learn to request, especially if they’re not using many words yet. This guide provides simple steps to use pictures effectively.

What You’ll Need:

Pictures: Use photos of your child’s favorite toys, snacks, drinks, activities, and places. You can also use simple drawings or cut-out pictures from magazines or catalogs. Make them clear and easy to recognize.
Containers/Storage: A box, basket, or binder to keep the pictures organized.
- PECS Communication Book
- Storage Bins with Lids
Velcro (optional): If you want to create a picture exchange system, you’ll need sticky-backed Velcro strips.
- Velcro Dots

Step-by-Step Guide:

Gather and Organize Pictures:

Choose Favorites: Start with 5-10 pictures of things your child really loves. The more motivated they are, the better!
Make it Clear: Make sure the pictures are clear and represent exactly what they want. For example, a picture of their specific sippy cup, not just any cup.
Label (Optional): You can write the word for each item under the picture, but this isn’t essential for very young children.
Organize: Keep the pictures in a place where your child can easily see and access them.

Introduce the Pictures:

Show and Name: Show your child each picture one at a time. Name the item clearly: “This is your car.” “This is your juice.”
Play a Matching Game: Lay out a few pictures and the real items. Have your child match the picture to the object. This helps them understand the pictures represent real things.

Start with Simple Requests:

One Picture at a Time: Begin by focusing on one or two highly desired items.
Model the Request: Hold up the picture of the item your child wants. Say, “Car, please.” (Or whatever word you’re using).
Encourage Pointing/Giving: Encourage your child to point to the picture or hand it to you.
Give the Item Immediately: As soon as they point or give you the picture, give them the item with enthusiasm! “Great job asking for the car! Here it is!”

Expand the Options:

Add More Pictures: Once your child is successful with a few pictures, gradually add more to the collection.
Offer Choices: Lay out two pictures and ask, “Do you want the juice or the blocks?” Let them point to their choice.

Using a Picture Exchange System (PECS – More Structured):

Velcro and a Board: Stick Velcro to the back of the pictures and to a communication board or a piece of cardboard.
- PECS Book
The Exchange: When your child wants something, guide them to take the picture off the board and hand it to you.
Verbal Prompt: As they hand you the picture, say the name of the item.
Immediate Reward: Give them the item immediately and praise their effort.

General Tips:

Be Patient: It takes time for children to understand how to use pictures for requesting. Be patient and consistent.
Positive Reinforcement: Lots of praise and enthusiasm! Make it fun!
Don’t Anticipate: Give your child a chance to use the pictures before you guess what they want.
Real-Life Situations: Use the pictures throughout the day during mealtimes, playtime, and other activities.
Keep it Accessible: Keep the pictures in a place where your child can easily reach them.
Make it a Routine: Incorporate picture requesting into your daily routine.

Example:

Your child wants a snack. You show them pictures of a cookie and an apple. You say, “Do you want a cookie or an apple?” They point to the cookie picture. You say, “Great job! You want a cookie!” and give them the cookie.

Important Note: If your child is having significant difficulties with communication, it’s always a good idea to talk to your pediatrician or a speech-language pathologist. They can offer personalized advice and support.

General Tips for Success:

Be Patient: Learning to request takes time and practice. Be patient and supportive.
Be Consistent: Use these strategies consistently throughout the day.
Make it Fun: Turn requesting into a game. Use lots of praise and encouragement.
Follow Your Child’s Lead: Pay attention to what your child is interested in and use those interests to motivate them to request.
Don’t Anticipate Needs: Give your child a chance to express their needs before you anticipate them.
Consult a Professional: If you have concerns about your child’s communication development, consult with a speech-language pathologist. They can provide personalized guidance and support.

By implementing these strategies and remaining patient and supportive, you can empower your child to become a confident communicator and successfully request the things they need and want. This will not only reduce frustration but also foster their independence and overall development.

Resources

For more information check out these resources:

6 TIips for Requesting Video

Using Pictures to Communication Video Example

MDS: The Power of Reading: How Shared Books Boost Your Child’s Language Development

Disclaimer: This article provides general information and suggestions. It is not intended as a substitute for professional diagnosis or treatment from a certified Speech-Language Pathologist. If you have specific concerns about your child’s speech development, please consult with a qualified professional in your area.