Think about how much of our daily lives involves taking turns. We take turns talking in a conversation, driving on the road, waiting in line, or playing a game. Understanding and participating in this back-and-forth rhythm is a crucial social skill and a child’s play can focus on turn-taking and language development. For children, learning to take turns starts long before they are having complex conversations. It begins in infancy with interactions like peek-a-boo and develops through play with toys and participation in simple routines.

Teaching turn-taking isn’t just about manners or following rules; it’s about teaching the fundamental structure of communication. Conversation is, at its heart, a sophisticated form of turn-taking – one person speaks (takes a turn), and then the other person listens and responds (takes their turn). When children practice taking turns in simple, fun activities, it helps them build the important skills they’ll need for talking and listening in the future.

The good news is that you don’t need special equipment or training to teach turn-taking. You can weave it into your everyday interactions and playtime with your child. It’s about being intentional and modeling the “my turn, your turn” concept consistently.

Let’s explore why turn-taking is so important and how you can easily incorporate it into your time with your child, boosting their speech and language development along the way.

Why “Your Turn, My Turn” Matters for Language

Learning to take turns is critical because it helps children understand several key concepts related to communication:

The Flow of Conversation: Turn-taking teaches children that communication is a two-way street. It’s not just about expressing their own needs or wants, but also about listening to and responding to others.
Timing and Waiting: It helps them learn to wait for their opportunity to participate, rather than interrupting or dominating an interaction. This is vital for holding conversations and functioning in group settings.
Joint Attention and Shared Focus: Taking turns often requires focusing on the same activity or object as another person, which builds joint attention – a crucial skill for language learning.
Understanding Social Cues: Children learn to recognize cues that signal it’s their turn to act or speak (e.g., a pause, a question, eye contact).
Predictability and Routine: Turn-taking provides a predictable structure to interactions, which can be comforting and easier for children, especially those who benefit from routine.
Modeling Language: When you take your turn, you are modeling language for your child in a natural and meaningful context. They hear new words, sentence structures, and communication functions (like requesting, commenting, asking questions).

When you actively teach and practice taking turns, you’re building the strong base your child needs for more advanced talking and listening skills later on.

How to Lay the Foundation: Simple Steps to Teaching Turn-Taking

Teaching turn-taking is best done through playful, repetitive activities. Start simple and gradually increase the complexity as your child understands the concept.

Start with Highly Motivating Activities: Choose activities or toys that your child genuinely enjoys. This will make them more likely to want to participate and wait for their turn.
Keep it Short and Sweet: Especially when first starting, keep the turn-taking activity brief to maintain your child’s interest and prevent frustration.
Use Clear Verbal Cues: Consistently say “My turn!” and “Your turn!” as you take turns. Use hand gestures or point to yourself and then to your child.
Use Visual Cues (Optional but Helpful): For some children, a visual cue like holding up one finger for “my turn” and then pointing to them for “your turn” can be beneficial. You can also use picture cards or a simple object passed back and forth to represent the “turn.”
Be Explicit and Patient: Don’t assume your child understands. Clearly state whose turn it is. Be patient; it takes time and repetition for this skill to develop.
Provide Support and Prompting: At first, you may need to physically guide your child to take their turn or gently remind them, “It’s your turn!”
Praise and Reinforce: Offer specific praise when your child successfully takes a turn or waits patiently. “Good job waiting for your turn!” or “Thank you for giving me a turn!”
Model Waiting: When it’s your child’s turn and they are figuring out what to do, wait patiently without jumping in. This gives them the space to take their turn. You can make up a fun song for this too! “I am waiting. I am waiting. For my turn.”

Now, let’s look at some specific activities and how you can use them to teach turn-taking while boosting language skills.

Activity Examples: Making Turn-Taking and Language Development Playful

Here are a few examples of how you can embed turn-taking into common activities, with scripts to guide your language:

Activity 1: Simple Object Exchange (Great for early communicators)

Goal: Practice the basic back-and-forth of turn-taking and simple vocabulary/requesting.

Materials: One or two highly preferred small toys or objects that can be easily handed back and forth (e.g., a car, a ball, a stuffed animal).

How to play and build language:

Sit facing your child. Have the object. This could be a ball, bubbles, Play-Doh, Cars
Clearly state “My turn,” interact with the object briefly, then offer it to your child, stating “Your turn!”
Wait for your child to take the object.
When they are done interacting, hold out your hand and say “My turn!”
Repeat the exchange.

Scripts:

(Holding the car) You say: “My turn! Vroom, vroom!” (Pushing the car)
(Offering the car to your child) You say: “Your turn!”
(Child has the car, you hold out your hand) You say: “My turn!”
(When child gives you the car) You say: “Yay! Thank you! My turn!”
(To encourage requesting) You say: (Holding the object) “My turn… Do you want a turn? Say ‘my turn’ or ‘want it’.”
(When they attempt to request) You say: “Okay! Your turn!”

Activity 2: Rolling a Ball Back and Forth

Balls

Goal: Practice turn-taking with a slightly more dynamic activity, introducing action verbs and simple concepts.

Materials: A soft ball that is easy to roll.

How to play and build language:

Sit on the floor with legs spread, facing your child, so you can roll the ball back and forth.
Start with the ball. Say “My turn!” and roll the ball to your child.
As you roll, you can add language like “Roll the ball!” or “Go!”
When the ball reaches your child, say “Your turn!”
Wait for them to roll it back. If they need help, gently guide them.
When the ball comes back to you, say “My turn!” and repeat.

Scripts:

(With the ball) You say: “My turn! Ready… roll!” (Roll the ball)
(As the ball goes to your child) You say: “Your turn!”
(If child doesn’t roll back) You say: “Your turn to roll! Roll the ball!” (Gesture rolling)
(When ball comes back) You say: “Yay! You rolled it back! My turn!”
(To add vocabulary) You say: “The ball is fast!” “The ball is slow.” “Red ball!”
(To encourage requesting) You say: (Hold the ball) “My turn… Do you want to roll it? Say ‘roll’ or ‘my turn’.”

Activity 3: Building with Blocks (Taking Turns Adding)

Wooden Blocks

Foam Blocks

Goal: Practice turn-taking in a building activity, targeting vocabulary, concepts, and simple requests.

Materials: A set of easy-to-stack blocks.

How to play and build language:

Sit together with the blocks between you.
Start building a tower. Say “My turn!” as you add a block.
Offer a block to your child and say “Your turn!”
Wait for them to add a block.
When they are done, say “My turn!” and continue building, taking turns adding one block at a time.

Scripts:

(Picking up a block) You say: “My turn! I put a block on!”
(Offering a block to your child) You say: “Your turn! You put a block on.”
(When child adds a block) You say: “You did it! Good job! Your turn!”
(After child’s turn) You say: “My turn!”
(To add vocabulary/concepts) You say: “Put the blue block on.” “Put the big block on top.” “Tall tower!” “Uh oh, fall down!”
(To encourage requesting) You say: (Hold a block) “My turn… Want to put a block on? Say ‘more’ or ‘my turn’.”

Activity 4: Simple Board Games

Memory Match Game

Pop the Pig Game

Pop the Pirate Game

Fishing Game

Piggy Bank Toy

Goal: Practice turn-taking within a structured game with rules, targeting vocabulary, matching, and simple questions/answers.

Materials: A simple game with a clear turn-taking mechanism (e.g., taking a card, spinning a spinner, moving a piece). Matching games are great starters.

How to play and build language:

Set up the game. Explain the simple rules, emphasizing that you take turns.
Go first. Say “My turn!” and perform your action (e.g., draw a card, spin). Narrate what you are doing.
Clearly indicate it’s your child’s turn. “Your turn, [Child’s Name]!”
Provide support for them to take their turn according to the rules.
Narrate their action. “You did it! You matched the picture!”
Continue taking turns until the game is over.

Scripts (using a Memory Card Matching Game):

You say: “We are playing the matching game! We will take turns flipping over two cards to find a match.”
(Flipping over the first card) You say: “My turn! I flip over the first card. It’s a car!”
(Flipping over the second card) You say: “Now I flip another card. Oh, it’s a ball.”
You say: “Car and ball… Are they a match? No match this time.” (Turn the cards back over)
(Pointing to your child) You say: “Your turn, [Child’s Name]! Flip over two cards.”
(As child flips their first card) You say: “What did you get? A dog! Okay, now flip another one.”
(As child flips their second card) You say: “What’s on that one? A dog!”
You say: “Dog and dog! It’s a match! You found a match!” (Child keeps the matching pair)
(If child does NOT make a match) You say: “You found a dog and a cat. Are they a match? No match. Good trying!” (Help child turn the cards back over)
(To encourage language – model and prompt as needed):
- (When child flips a card) You say: “What is it? Say ‘car’!”
- (If they get a match) You say: “You found the matching dogs!”
- (If no match) You say: “No match this time.”
- (When it’s your turn or their turn) You say: “My turn to flip!” or “Your turn to flip!”
- (To encourage questions) You say: “Do you see the other car? Where is the other one?”
(When game is over) You say: “Good game! We took turns flipping cards and finding matches!

Activity 5: Sharing a Preferred Toy or Material (e.g., Play-Doh, a Special Car)

Play Doh and Accessories

Cars

Goal: Practice taking turns with a single, desirable item, working on requesting, giving, and simple negotiation.

Materials: One toy or material that your child really likes and might not want to share initially (e.g., a favorite car, a specific color of Play-Doh, a turn on a swing).

How to play and build language:

Start playing with the item yourself. Say “My turn!” and engage with it.
After a short time (before your child gets too frustrated), offer them a turn. Say “Your turn!” and hand it to them.
Let them have a turn. After a reasonable amount of time, hold out your hand and say “My turn, please!”
Praise them when they give it to you. “Thank you for sharing! You gave me a turn!”
If they resist, gently remind them, “Remember, we take turns. It’s my turn now, then you can have another turn.” You might need to offer a less preferred alternative briefly or set a timer for turns.

Scripts:

(Playing with the car) You say: “My turn! The car is going fast! Vroom!”
(Offering the car) You say: “Your turn!”
(After child’s turn) You say: “My turn, please.” (Hold out hand)
(If child gives it) You say: “Thank you for sharing! Good sharing! My turn!”
(If child doesn’t give it) You say: “Remember, your turn, my turn. It’s my turn now. You can have a turn again in a minute.” (Gently take the item if necessary, offering a replacement)
(To encourage requesting) You say: (Holding the item) “My turn. Do you want a turn? Say ‘my turn’ or ‘share, please’.”

Activity 6: Turn-Taking in a Daily Routine (e.g., putting toys away, setting the table)

Goal: Generalize turn-taking to functional daily tasks, embedding language related to the routine.

Materials: Items related to a routine (e.g., toys to be put away, utensils for setting the table).

How to play and build language:

Approach the routine as a shared task where you take turns.
Clearly state “My turn!” as you complete one small step or put one item away.
Direct your child to take their turn. “Your turn! You put one toy in the box.”
Continue taking turns until the routine is complete.

Scripts (Putting toys away):

You say: “Time to clean up! We will take turns putting the toys away.”
(Picking up a block) You say: “My turn! I’ll put the block in the box.”
(Pointing to a toy near your child) You say: “Your turn! You put the doll away.”
(When child puts toy away) You say: “You did it! Good job putting the doll away! Your turn!”
(After child’s turn) You say: “My turn!”
(To add language) You say: “Put the blue car in the big box.” “Put the book on the shelf.” “All gone!”

Embedding Language Goals Within Turn-Taking

As you practice turn-taking, you can simultaneously work on other speech and language goals:

Vocabulary: Label the objects or actions used during the turn-taking activity.
Action Verbs: Emphasize and repeat the verbs associated with the turns (e.g., “roll,” “build,” “give,” “take,” “put”).
Descriptive Words: Describe the objects (color, size, shape) or the actions (fast, slow, hard, soft).
Following Directions: Give simple instructions for your child’s turn.
Requesting: Create opportunities for your child to request their turn or a specific item.
Commenting: Model and encourage your child to comment on what is happening during the turns.
Speech Sounds: If your child is working on specific sounds, use turn-taking activities that include words with those sounds and model them clearly during your turn (e.g., using a toy “snake” during object exchange for the /s/ sound, talking about “rolling” the ball for the /r/ sound).

The beauty of these turn-taking activities is that they let you naturally slip in new words and sentence ideas that are just a little bit beyond what your child is using now.

Troubleshooting and Tips

If your child struggles to wait: Start with very quick turns. Gradually increase the waiting time as they become more comfortable. Use timers or songs to signal turns.
If your child has difficulty letting go of an item: Use two identical items if possible so you each have one. For single items, use a timer and a visual cue. Be firm but gentle in taking your turn, and immediately provide praise for their effort or compliance.
If your child doesn’t seem interested: Try a different activity that is highly motivating for them. Turn-taking can be practiced with almost anything!
Be a good model: Consistently use “My turn” and “Your turn” even when you aren’t explicitly teaching it. Children learn by observing you

Ultimately, focusing on ‘your turn, my turn’ is about building connection and confidence in your child’s communication. This essential rhythm is what makes conversations flow and social interactions successful. By simply adding turns to your daily play and routines, you create wonderful chances for your child to practice speaking and listening in a way that feels natural and fun. Be patient with the process, keep it consistent, and most importantly, enjoy the rewarding back-and-forth as your child becomes a more confident communicator!

For more information check out these resource:

MDS: Top Educational Apps for Kids: Boost Speech & Language Development by Age

First Words Bright Futures Facebook Page

First Words Bright Futures Instagram Page

Disclaimer: This article provides general information and suggestions for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional diagnosis or treatment from a certified Speech-Language Pathologist. Please consult with a qualified professional if you have specific concerns about your child’s speech and language development.